The Finger

WARNING: This is a complainy blog. So if you're not in the mood to hear one of my rants, I suggest skipping this one. Although it's very important if you've ever marveled at the horror of wedding photography posing. So proceed at your own risk/benefit. You choose. Okay. You may commence.
A great mystery has been solved and I owe it to my dear friend Lauren. Ever since my wedding (and really for as long as wedding photography atrocities have existed), I have marveled at one thing: awkward posing. Specifically in the hands department but in general as well. I breathe it, eat it, rummage through it when I work and can never seem to get away from crappy posing. It is the bane of my existence. Almost.
So this is what happened. When doing a few portraits after our wedding ceremony, John's stepdad Mark had me pose by a window by myself...complete with step-by-step posing me. Now I can handle "stand straight, tilt your head to the left, don't slouch, etc." I can even handle more complicated posing if it can be explained and backed up. "Tilt your head to the left because the shadow is covering your left eye." See? That makes sense to me. But then the clincher happened. Mark told me to "raise my index finger." Why I did not know until this very night. I questioned him. He did not have an answer other than "this was pose 3" or something of that nature. This did not satisfy me but without warning, several pictures were taken. I put my finger down. He told me to put it up again. As a result, I'm not a fan of my solo wedding portraits. I'm still kicing myself for not putting my foot down (or finger)...but sadly, it's past and I can't change it. Aside from within photoshop of course. Snicker snicker. Since then I've been baffled by the question: what the heck is with the index finger? WHY oh WHY would someone pose you like that unless you were a cheap storefront mannequin? I can understand if you're a fashion photographer because fashion photography is ALL about posing. Wedding photography and photojournalism, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. And further more...the poses these wedding photographers are using? Any fashion photographer would grimace at them. So never mind...that's not even a valid excuse any longer.
We've all seen the many uses of finger poses in culture.
For example: The Buddha Finger Pose.
Another example: Giving "The Finger."
Tonight Lauren discovered the answer to my infuriating question and sent it to me. I will not state the source as to avoid being sued by whoever left such a mind-bogglingly dumb comment...but here it is:
"5th shot is the bride solo, using a second light or a window as a main light and the camera more as a fill will give you some modeling in that type shot, which doesn't always work the best flat lit. Also she has that skin crease under the right arm, just have her rotate the arm slightly to the left (Ok right here we can see disaster approaching. First red flag targeted. "Slightly rotating" anything in a pose, unless correctly done, makes a natural pose instantly artificial, stiff, unnatural, and most foul to me.) and the arm will present slimmer and the crease will relax. Next shot at the railing post, hands are always extra work (Oh boy. Second red flag right on time. Hands = extra work? Absurd. If you're a watch commercial photographer, maybe. Or even doing a shot of the rings. But unless your couple is throwing up gang signs, I'd hardly call hands "extra work."), if you have her move back slightly the arm will meet the wrist at a slight back angle, then have her raise her index finger slightly and the whole hand will present more delicate. (And here we have it. The golden moment when the clouds part and the angels sing in triumph of solving a baffling mystery of moronity. When I look at a wedding picture of a bride with her index finger lifted to the heavens awkwardly, usually accompanied by an awkward expression of "why the crap is my finger in the air?", the word "delicate" does not come to mind. However, the words "dumbass" and "dorkhead" do. And I'm not talking about the bride.) When working ladies fingers, a good way of starting to refine them is to be aware of the weight on the tips, less is better, maybe have them raise the index and allow the wrist to break back some. (How bout I break your wrist and back some?) Following shot hand on dress same basic thing, maybe a slight rotation to the right to pull the weight off the thumb side of the hand, a bit "store front maniquenesque"."
Ok. SO as you can see, I have quite an opinion when it comes to this matter. The facts are as follows: if you want to call yourself a GOOD photographers these days, that means considering the photojournalism side to wedding photography. And that also means all this posing mumbo jumbo CRAPOLA goes out the window. PERIOD. There is no place in the world of good photography for raised index fingers and photojournalism. There just isn't...unless the photo is of a bride mocking the pose and the photographer is documenting that moment. That, my friend, is a photograph I wish I could say I had. Sadly...I don't. (And yes, that is me rolling my eyes above. Can you tell I'm kinda pissed?)
Now don't get me wrong. I love my father-in-law to pieces. And I also love 98% of our wedding pictures he took. He really IS a very, very talented photographer. The picture above is a great picture...aside from my unhappiness and finger. But the out-dated posing is NOT and NEVER will be my style. Ever.
So...moral of the story? Don't let yourself be a victim of poor posing and raised index fingers. JUST SAY NO.