Fashion Edition

Sometimes I feel like a superhero robot woman with a big gun. I'm not sure why.
Last night I made yet another discovery about John: he keeps clothes for decades. Literally. After finding several articles of clothing while unpacking that resembled something worn in middle school, I found out that they were, indeed, from middle school. If not slightly earlier. Apparently John takes really good care of his clothes. Which is a good thing. But...sometimes some clothes just need to be thrown out or given away. Just because. Which leads me to my next subject: pleated pants or better known as the thorn in my side. To support my opinion, I am taking a quote from askmen.com stating "Khakis with pleats should be donated to the Salvation Army and replaced by plain-front ones." I think that pretty much says it all right there. I believe the only time pleats are allowed is in suit pants and we're talking...TAME pleats. None of this "bubble in my crotch when I sit down because the pleats create the trapped-air bullfrog-throat effect...except not in my throat...in my privates" nonsense. Not okay. Ever.
So our conclusion is: pleats = evil. Second point topic: "dress shorts." First off, they do not exist. "Dress short" is an oxymoron because shorts are casual, dress is dress and you cannot wear "dress shorts" to a business meeting. Again...EVER. The only reason dress shorts got the title "dress" is because they resemble the same dressy Khakis with pleats that need to be donated to the Salvation Army...except they're SHORTS. Which puts another 100 points against them. All we need now is those evil leather "loafers" with tassels and I just might suffocate myself right here. Andddd there they are. Sigh. So...in closing...I'd like to say that this says nice and dressy: This, on the other hand, says "Tool": And this, found innocently on the internet, supports my argument in more ways than I could ever think of:So if you're going for the Hitler Look, by all means. I guarantee his were pleated.
And if you ever find yourself in doubt...in the words of my wise, wise mother, "When in doubt, throw it out"...or avoid buying it at all. Please.