Smarty Pants

What this tattoo SHOULD read is "My slutty skirt is too little."
Tonight I am officially a smartass jerk. I honestly can't deny it. I couldn't resist any longer. I told someone their "Chinese" tattoo meant jack squat. Looking online for a certain tattoo lead me to a celebrity gossip page. The author compared a tattoo on Ryan Phillippe to their own tattoo and then showed a picture of their own tattoo and mentioned the "meaning." BIG MISTAKE. Well...the meaning was crap. Completely wrong. Only one character was even close. And being my sassy self this evening I could resist no longer. I marched over to the bookshelf and found John's Chinese Dictionary. Only one problem. It was printed in the states. This means it does not function like a normal Chinese dictionary and is missing half the words (if not more) that exist. Seeing as I was looking for one of the most basic words out there, I do not believe that dictionary should be sold...ANYWHERE. EVER. After throwing that across the room, I went to good ol' trust worthy zhongwen.com and just looked up the characters. I knew they were wrong on the tattoo but just wanted to make sure I had the meanings down pat.
Before I knew it, I had replied to the poster with this:
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your tattoo does not say "Mother, Daughter, Son."
The top left character says "woman" or "female."
The top right character says "mother" so that's correct.
The bottom character is a word used to describe something as "finished" or "complete."
Never ever, ever, ever trust tattoo shop "kanji."
Oops. Did I actually type that for real? Before I could stop myself, I submitted it. So there you have it folks. I'm a jerk, I know.
But you know what? I'm SICK and TIRED of seeing these people running around with their "kanji symbols" all jacked up on their arms claiming it says some crapola that their high tattoo artist fed to them while buzzing it into their shoulder. It's like me running around with "j;laskdfhaskl;nefals;kejfhlkdfh" tattooed on my arm and saying it says "Happiness" in English. I mean COME ON. How elementary does it have to be? Do you speak Chinese? No? Okay. Does your friend speak it? Another no? Okay...does your tattoo artist FOR REAL speak Chinese and no that does not mean reading fake translations off the flash pages in the tattoo shop?...If that's three no's or even ONE no...you should NEVER consider getting a tattoo in a language you DO NOT speak or read or understand in any shape or form unless a very trusted LEARNED person translates for you. And even then. JUST DON'T DO IT.Unfortunately for this poor soul it is far beyond too late. Thank goodness for cover-ups...or humorous stories. "Yeah I thought my tattoo said "Mother, Daughter, Son" but it actually says "Mother, Female, Finished....."...yeah I don't know either." But...I already know for a fact they'll take their stoned tattoo artists' word over mine. What do I know? He taught himself to tattoo in prison with a bic pen and I lived in China 14 years. Take your pick.
For anyone that cared: Kanji is "pictograms of Chinese" origin as one site put it. So it's basically Chinese AND one of Japanese forms of writing as Japanese has several "alphabets."
For the record: They're CHARACTERS, NOT SYMBOLS. They are not SYMBOLIZING anything. They're WORDS. Got it? If I hear "Asian Symbol" ONE MORE TIME...
The ONLY way I can see a ray of light from this tattoo fiasco is if somehow (which I highly doubt) the "KANJI" has a different meaning and those characters do in fact mean "Mother, Daughter, Son." But...I find that very far fetched. If that is the case, I'll gladly admit my wrong. But I'll be here waiting until then. Scoffing. Quietly. To self.
Okay. Jackass mode OFF.

Comments

Unknown said…
Hooray! Someone else who feels the same as I do! I must confess that I have been a jerk and told someone their tattoo didn't exactly mean what they thought it did...oh well. Mostly I just snicker in silence.
Yay!! Yes...man...mostly I try to avoid the subject. It was very hard for me to this one time when I was admiring a woman's tattoo of 'Ai' and she said "Yeah it's my name in Chinese and my other one is my husband's name." I just stared at her blankly, SO BADLY wanting to say "Oh really? You're name is 'Love?' That sure is interesting."
robyn said…
If I could high-five this post right now without destroying my work imac I would so do it.
Regardless if a non-chinese person gets a tattoo that says what they think it says in chinese or not I always have to ask one very important question "Why chinese?" Does the person have a interest in the chinese culture, do they have chinese heritage? I would say almost always the answer is going to be a big fat no, no! Then why get a chinese tattoo? Ugh, I'm just about as angered and passionate about this as you, only, I never lived in China. Great post Rachel!
robyn said…
oh, and I should have also said:
-I think you were too polite with that email. I would have probably been ruder.
-The same goes for japanese and all other foreign language tattoos, as well as tribal art, etc. Why do you want that tattoo? You may fool yourself into thinking your really into it, but most likely it's nothing more than trendy.
Hehe thanks Robyn. Yeah...I think if it has real SIGNIFICANCE to you, than cool. But so much of it is just trendy crap that's going to be cheesy in 3 years or less. Being into a tattoo isn't enough. It should MEAN something. And by MEAN I don't mean what your tattoo artist claims it says or even what the darn internet claims it says. The internet LIES!!!
I'm glad people responded positively to this post. :D

Popular Posts