Straight Edge Idiocy
Let me back up. For some time now (ehem...since we got married), I've been baffled and annoyed at my husband's inability to cut his toenails in a way that refrains from slicing my legs and feet up in bed. I did my best to instruct him in the ways of toenail clipping, thinking that my dear husband had been neglected as a child and was not properly instructed by his own mother like any normal person should be. He has made an effort...and things have somewhat improved. But I still find myself being grizzled between the sheets by his razor-sharp nails. What the heck gives??
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I discovered the answer this weekend: they actually make straight edge nail clippers. And all this time I was blaming my poor husband and his poor mother...
Now that the concept has sunken in, I'd like to vocally bring forth the question in all our minds (well, at least mine anyway): WHY the heck do they make straight edge nail clippers? What could their purpose possibly be? I feel like the invention of a curved nail clipper completely makes a straight one obsolete. WHY are they still selling these murderous and pain-inducing things in stores?? These are all things I wish to know. Like...right now. I seriously feel like I'm missing some BIG, OBVIOUS reason as to why they are still on the market if they a. simply don't do their job properly and b. induce pain on others. It's like still having lead paint available in stores...almost.
So...my silliness aside...I literally had an audible "AHA!!!" moment when I made this discovery. I plan to remedy the situation. Stat. Until then, carry on...and watch the feet.
P.S. John, I'm so sorry I blamed you for this all this time.
Photo: Unknown found via A Sharper Razor
Comments