Soon...
It's no mystery how horrified I feel about how self-esteem is so twisted in the minds of girls these days. I still struggle with my own...but I don't remember being obsessed with how I looked when I was 11. I remember snarky comments that I moved past. I remember wondering if what people said about me was true. But...now, it's beginning even earlier for girls. It breaks my heart. I hope in the depths of my soul that I can break the cycle in my own family...and hopefully help to make a dent in the cycle of young girls and how they see themselves.
I've been getting larger lately (seems like a taboo thing to say seconds after talking about self-esteem...but you know what I'm talking about). This baby is definitely making herself known. I think I might have even spied a kick today and until now don't remember being able to actually SEE her kick through my belly. It's a beautiful, magical thing having a life inside you. I'm trying not to get used to it, trying to treasure every move and every kick and even when it gets a little uncomfortable...enjoying the wonder of it all. So far, she's been relatively gentle. I only remember once or twice while driving in WA that I felt compelled to complain of some low, swift kicks she was delivering. I know soon they will grow more uncomfortable. But I'm trying to keep the mindset that...those kicks are just reminders that she IS there (something I've been known to wonder about being as this pregnancy has really been quite chill)...and she is coming soon.
A good friend just gave birth to her second baby yesterday, a girl, and her name is Avaleigh Clare. She's beautiful and perfect and makes me want to fast forward time until it's my turn. I feel myself growing impatient to have my girl, my own girl. But God keeps whispering "patience" in my ear and I comply; I'm still afraid of labor. I almost said, "I'm not ready for labor." But I stopped myself because...who really is?
Photo: Unknown found via Factoidz
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