Musical Self

There are a few conversations I've had this year that have changed my life, in a sense. And this weekend was one of them. I never know if it's because I've changed and grown or because the person I'm talking to has changed and grown but either way...it's always epic and sends me away feeling like a new person, ready to face this confusing world around me.
I had the great opportunity to hangout with my best friend Jenna and her brother Jesse who was one of my closest friends in junior high. We haven't kept in great touch but he's the sort of friend that you just snap back with when you meet up again. Jenna was kind enough to pick me up from the Christmas party. It didn't go as late as I expected so she came around at about 11:30ish to get me. I expected us all to go to bed almost immediately but we stayed up and talked and caught up with each other. And I really enjoyed my conversation with Jesse. I've been feeling lacking in the musical department of my life. I still have this strong musical connection and desire to do something with it...whatever that may be. But I also find myself extremely intimidated by the musical world out there. And in response, I simply hide myself away, musical self and all. And as a result, few people even know I'm musical anymore. And that's weird and not me and I don't like it. I couldn't even repeat everything we talked about because it just spanned so many subjects...but being able to hear his thoughts on music (as he is pursuing it) and artists of all mediums in general...it was so encouraging and helped me rethink all of this, rethink myself as an artist. I feel inspired to write again, even if it's just for myself. And I feel like I understand what it means to be an artist again. How I'd forgotten, I'll never know. Funny how friends bring out the truest part of yourself even when you can't find it.