Don't Peek.

I had an awesome Halloween. Probably one of the most fun I've had yet. Which was a little bittersweet because I wished more than anything John could have been there. But he had fun for Halloween as well in Qatar (he was a gift box..."God's gift to women"....haha) so at least he had a good time.

My night started out at Monique's I arrived early to help with anything last minute and get myself together. I strapped on my boots (more like zipped on) and teetered around her house trying to help the best I could...in suicidally high heel boots and a corset...and skin tight leggings. At one point, the doorbell ring and we paniced because we weren't ready. But it was only trick-or-treaters (something I have yet to participate in...yes...truth) and we had more time to prep. Finally, we were finished and her guests began flocking in. I originally planned to make my costume a little more PG rated by wearing something under my corset that would hang low and cover my butt and prevent the bare back behind the lacing. But at the last minute I decided to go against that idea since it just looked so UNLady Gaga. So skank it is! Most of the beginning of the party was spent being spanked by my friends and having people try to pinch a piece of my leggings to see how tight they were. Haha...good times. Then the food began and I found (although I already knew this) sitting in a corset is not an easy feat. My corset is long enough to interfere with the simple task of sitting. So that was interesting. After lots of good eats and a wee bit of karaoke, Stephanie and I left for our second party. We met the Sex in the City ladies at our friend Lindsey's house and played a drinking game that I spent mostly completely confused but in fits of uncontrollable laughter. Afterward we headed to our destination, a friend with a fully Halloween-decked-out house. There, I played my first game of flip cup, enjoyed spiked punch, and had deep heart-to-heart conversations with strangers that only happens that quickly when slightly drunk. I also witnessed a 50 year old woman streak (and no it was NOT at all THAT kind of a party) against my will and have still yet to recover. But other than that, it was awesome. My Lady Gaga costume got a lot of compliments and I enjoyed laughing with new friends that felt as comfortable as old friends. I also checked behind the shower curtain every time I went to the bathroom. It's a rule on Halloween. Always check behind the shower curtain before peeing on Halloween. Especially at a party. But even if you aren't at a party. You never know what idiotic friend is going to play some stupid prank on you mid flow. Too much info? Okay. Moving on.

In 8 days I will turn 24 years of age. I have mixed feelings about this birthday. Mainly because it is (yes, really) my first birthday away from my family and relatives. And it is my first birthday married to John and he won't be here for it. But...there's nothing I can do about either of those things. So I am trying to be determined to have a blast regardless. A good ol' friend from China days is coming to visit (I LOVE YOU KATIE D!) and I am going to paint and sing and eat to my heart's content.

I received my birthday present from John early the other day and set it aside like a good girl to save until my birth DAY. That is, until the other night when I got terribly depressed and neurotic and doubtful. I've always done this with old boyfriends (and yes, I realize this is my HUSBAND and I don't know why I was even worrying about this but...that's me sometimes...worry wart about the DUMBEST things) and was usually dead-on correct: I worry that they don't GET me and will give me something I won't like for my birthday. And usually I was right. Because they DIDN'T get me. And you should never have to ASK for flowers in a relationship. I mean really? When you like a girl, you should buy her flowers. If she says "Oh I hate flowers," well now you know. But why wouldn't you at least TRY and not assume? But that's a whole entirely different story. So back to presents. I was worried I wouldn't like John's present for me. And while it shouldn't matter, and it doesn't....it still does in a way. It makes me fearful and over-think everything. And my love language is tokens of affection. So that throws a whole huge wrench into the whole situation. So there I was...sad, missing John, and wondering "what if he got me something that's totally not me at all and then on top of it he's not even here?" I know all of this makes me sound very materialistic. I'm not. Really, I'm not. I could live barefoot in the mountains without any running water or possessions for a decade and be perfectly content. But when you're in a meaningful relationship or more importantly A MARRIAGE, you hope the person you're with understands you as well as they can and pursues to understand you better. And gift giving is a big deal to me. I put a lot of thought into it and I hope people put a lot of thought into it with me as well. ANYWAYS...so...I peeked. For the first time since what...4th GRADE?? I peeked at my present. And I couldn't help but smile and feel incredibly guilty that 1. I peeked and 2. I could even think to doubt that John gets me. Because he gets me more than anyone ever has, aside from my own mother. And that says a whole lot coming from someone who used to doubt I'd ever find someone strange enough to want to marry me. (I'm talking about me. My mother never doubted I'd find someone.) Sad, but oh so true. So...I finally confessed to him that I peeked. Thankfully he wasn't mad. And he was very happy to hear that I was THRILLED with what he got me. OF COURSE. It wasn't what I asked for. It was so much better. But you will just have to wait until my birthday to find out what it is. :) After all, I have to wait until then to TRULY open it.

So moral of the story? Don't peek. It's so much more exciting to wait.