Hello Goodbye

You know what I feel like doing? Nothing. Nothing with anyone. Dropping off the radar, disappearing completely until there is complete peace, quiet, silence.
Have you ever wished that you could break up with friends the way you can break up with boyfriends/girlfriends? I have and do right now. I'm not always the easiest person to get but one thing that I hope I make clear to those that do get me and know me well is this: I am loyal. Do you know what doesn't flow with me? Dishonesty. The minute you lie to me, you just created an arm's length gap between us that will continue to grow until something is done about it. I've been burned before. I don't self-inflict and I get away from liars quick if I can manage it.
So what do you do when you don't know WHO is telling the truth anymore? Sigh. That's where I am. Floating in a confusing pool of drama-fest, trying to figure out who the hell is telling the truth and who the hell is lying. It definitely makes your head spin when you find you truly can't tell the difference. Which is why I want to do nothing. And disappear. I'm tired. Of fighting, arguing, everyone getting in everyone's business and people refusing to forgive, all the talk behind everyone else' back, the assumptions. I'm sick of it. Why haven't you seen me? That's why. Should you expect to see me regularly soon? Doubtful. You see...I've had enough. I'm tired of being in awkward situations where I can't prove anything one way or another because I wasn't there...yet I know for a fact someone if not several someones are lying because I hear a different story from every pair of lips. And what did I say above? I get away from liars quick if I can manage it. And since I can't identify, I guess that means everyone for now.
I miss crying in front of someone and knowing they'll understand. I miss being able to speak freely without having to weigh my words for fear of how they'll get twisted. I miss having someone I can TRULY call in the middle of the night if I need someone to talk to or listen to me rant. I miss my three best friends (my husband, my mom, and Jenna) who are all literally thousands of miles away. I miss so many things I thought I couldn't live without...and yet here I find myself without any of them in arm's reach.
So before you go and try asking me if it's you, bug me to give more details, or condemn me for hell knows what, remember who you're talking to. And if you don't know who exactly you're talking to...then maybe you shouldn't say anything at all because I've proven my point.
Ta-da.
That's my piece for now. Or do I mean "peace."

Photo: Unknown found via Flush Rush