Echoes and Hesitation

Reading through old posts feels like a glimpse into a different life. That's what I get for not writing on a regular basis for so long. I was telling my mom for my first few years, this blog was well into the 200's or 300's for the number of posts. It's hard to believe so much has changed. There was a time when I sent John a letter every single day he was deployed. Every. Day. A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER. That seems like crazy talk now. But I guess it shouldn't. Everything ebbs and flows.
I feel like this new year has me slightly caught off guard. The spot light is on the stage and I just can't seem to do anything with myself. This past month flew by and I barely feel like we had a Christmas. Keeping the tree up just seems right. But my list of resolutions/aspirations/goals is made and growing and it makes me hopeful. I know change can and will happen. And has! I seek purpose and I will find it. God directed us here. Now I will find how God will use me in this place. But I must act.
I haven't cared about myself in so long. It's time. It's time to stop the emotional/mindless eating and get back to self-control and diligence and actually caring about myself and how I feel. I got so motivated by this amazing group called Birthfit.com which I'll go into more detail about later but...they're amazing and everyone who has ever had a baby should read up on them. DO IT NOW.
There's sooooooo much to say. But it's almost midnight. And I promised myself, exhausted or not, I'm getting up at 6am. So...later!