Heavy Flags

This photograph has stirred up a lot of emotion since it was taken years ago. I'm reading a book about the 6 Marines who raised it (it's hard to see all of them). It's definitely the most difficult book I've ever read. And this has all come as a complete surprise to me. For those who know me, you know I am not a particularly patriotic person...at all...ever. Quite frankly, I have never had a big connection to America aside from my passport "Nationality" field and besides that...not much. I grew up overseas and well...patriotism and love for your "mother land" doesn't exactly just naturally run through every American's veins. I am now understanding more than I ever thought I'd understand about this country, its people, and their sometimes obnoxious love for this place. I honestly never thought I'd get it...or maybe I thought there was little to "get" about it. Because I don't really have a concept of patriotism. Or at least I didn't. I do more now.
I feel uncomfortable when I see people covering their hearts during the national anthem. I don't know whether to climb under the table and hide or stand there or cover my heart even though I don't feel I have the right and feel like a poser imitating their stance.
Since meeting and dating John, I've learned a lot...without him even explaining that much to me (although he does more than his share of explaining...) about patriotism and why he's chosen to do what he does. This book has really opened my eyes to that and in a way has helped me understand and get to know John just a little bit more. I hope this has all come out right. I have a new found respect for this place and the people who defend it and what they stand for...even if I still don't completely get it...maybe someday.