Eggs...and Thoughts

We dyed Easter Eggs! I literally cannot remember the last time I dyed Easter Eggs. So obviously we never have together. We did a glitter kit and a tie dye kit (until SOMEONE broke the eyedropper *cough* JOHN *cough*)...so the glitter kit was much more successful. I felt like a kid making them and peeking to see how dark the colors had gotten on the eggs...after about 20 seconds. I have to say they turned out pretty nice. Now to eat them all. And believe me...I will eat them ALL. Nom.
I took photos at a deployment homecoming today. I've done this before but this time it involved children...and it's always different when it involves children. Children throw a whole different element into deployment reunions. Suddenly, the waterworks come on without any warning and if you've ever been hormonal, you can only imagine how strong the waterworks are of a very pregnant woman...i.e. me. I think I cried more than the family going through the homecoming and seeing each other again after a 7-8 month absence. The look on parents' faces as they reunite with their children after that long brings on so many emotions; sadness, happiness, anger, fury, giddiness...they're all there. The underlying feeling is just the ever repeating question of "why." Why does this son have to be away from his dad for that long? Why does this mother have to be away from her daughter that long? The answer, that they are serving their country and with that comes a price, doesn't always fully satisfy that "why." But it's enough to calm the question, even if only temporarily. It was hard seeing those bittersweet moments and capturing them knowing we will have ones of our own in no time. The thought of John being away again is hard. But the thought of John being away from his little girl is almost sickening. It's heartbreaking to think of them being separated when they haven't even met yet. How mother's have babies while their baby's father is gone I will never wrap my head around. That takes strength. And courage. And a lot of things I can say I don't possess but deep down I know I have them all. If I didn't, I wouldn't have made it past the first month of the first deployment. But I did. And the second. And I will again.
I'm proud of what the Marine Corps has put me through. It's too easy to play the pity party and just complain about how much it sucks. True...it DOES suck sometimes. And we all know venting is needed sometimes. But these experiences also bring on a very strong sense of pride and knowledge of things you never knew you possessed. God gave me the things I was lacking to get through two deployments on my own. And I know he will give me the tools I need to go through one (or more) with a child.
And I'm sorry but I have to be blunt for a moment...so you've been warned.
I love that our family is supportive of me and us in all we do. They are great during deployments with checking up on both of us. Friends and family are vital. BUT...they don't get it. You just DON'T get it. And that's okay. I don't want you to get it. It's a sickening feeling having to be away from the person you love for 7+ months. Sickening. When John leaves, I feel sick, like he just told me he wanted a divorce. I don't think I'd wish that feeling on anyone. So just please be humble enough to admit you don't understand and simply sympathize. I appreciate the support. I appreciate the sympathy (to a point...I'm not a broken human being and being reminded of how hard it must be to go through this and repeating how you couldn't do it if it were your spouse doesn't exactly help the time fly by for me). But please don't try to compare your husband's 2 week (or 2 NIGHT) business trip to a 7 month deployment to Afghanistan. Nope. Not even close. Sorry.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful or harsh. It's just the truth. There are 4 main things you should never say to someone with a deployed spouse or loved one:
1. "That must be so hard!" (Yep. Thanks for reminding me. Now let me go punch someone in the face. Oh! How convenient! You're standing right here...)
2. "I could NEVER do that." (So, basically you are saying that if your spouse had no choice but to deploy for 7 months...you'd divorce him/her? Because that's what's being implied.)
3. "Well you knew what you were getting into when you married them." (I have yet to have someone say this to my face. I've had several friends report that their families use this on a regular basis. I'm sorry but anyone who has the NERVE to say something so unfeeling and stupid is a dumbass who obviously was not thinking fully about what comes out of their mouth...because if they were, that would make them. Okay, so I knew what I was getting into when I married him? So that basically takes away my right to admit that it's difficult, painful, and overall not a fun experience? WHO the hell are you and where did you come from so I know where to aim my foot?)
4. "I know EXACTLY how you feel. When my husband Todd had to go to L.A. for a week..." (I don't think this one needs explanation.)
Okay, so this post turned into a COMPLETE rant. Deal with it.
I guess what I'm getting at is...deployments are hard. Even more so when kids are involved. They're not supposed to be fun. The military wasn't designed for families and that's just the truth.

Photo: Meself