Jerkface
Okay. I have to get something off my chest. I'm not actually sure if that phrase applies here. Because it's nothing I did. I just need to vent. And I might be a little jerky about it. So.....bear with me or skip this one.
It may not be news but I'm an artist. It's what I do. It's what I'm going to school for...to be a better artist and get an education. I don't take what I do lightly and find it annoying that so many people do. It's a hobby, it's a starving profession, it's a foolish choice, it's a joke...it's never just accepted and respected. You can say you're a stripper and it's all fine but say you're an artist and Oooommmggg...the end is coming. You just can't answer, "So what do you do?" with "Oh, I'm an artist." without the person waiting for the rest of the answer...or the real answer...it's like...you have to explain your way out of it like it's admitting to something embarrassing. Or the immediate response is, "Ohhhh starving artist!!" And you want to whip around and slap them across the forehead with your last drawing sale price.
That being said, it also drives me nuts when people who aren't artists try to pretend to be artists. Now...I'm not one of those people that goes around deeming who is and isn't an artist according to some pecking order of education or status. I'd say you're an artist if you feel a deep need to create that you can't entirely explain and it's something you're dedicated to whether you understand it or not. It's a risk...like a relationship. I don't mean all that in a touchy-feely hippy sort of way. I mean it realistically. It takes dedication, like anything passionate.
The people who are trying to pretend to be artists don't have that drive or passion. They will readily admit that with phrases like, "I can only draw stick figures" or, my favorite, "I can't draw a stick figure." Then there are these places. These freaking horrible places that are all the rage right now. These horrid places basically let you bring wine and paint a painting...while they guide you through each step of the painting, like a paint-by-numbers, and you walk away with "your very own masterpiece." *vomit*
Now...I get it. I get that it's "fun" to "pretend" to be "able" to paint and create a picture you normally wouldn't be able to make. I get that.
...
Only I don't (I mean...I really do but I don't want to). Only it kind of KILLS my SOUL a little bit each time I see it, hear about it, or think about it. Only I find it insulting any time I get invited to such a place and have only made the exception for one very special person. And the painting I made is an embarrassment that I can neither paint over (craaaappppyyyy quaaallliiitttyyyy caaannnvaaassssss aannnyyyooonnneee???) nor give away (how mean is that? "You invited me to this party so you could paint your own piece...want mine? So you can feel bad about your own? Which defeats the whole purpose?") so the only remaining option is to trash it. Which I will....hopefully soon so I never have to run across it again and doubt my entire calling as an artist. But due to the very special person that surrounded my whole going to the party and all...I find myself hesitating. More on that later. Or not.
I hate stuff like that. I HATE IT. I hate it because everyone is like, "Oh Rachel, you're probably awesome at this!" And what I want to say is, "If you mean paint really crappy while drunk, then yes!" but instead I just plaster on a smile, adjust the table-top easel so the top isn't digging a hole through the canvas (and my soul) because it was set up wrong...in fact...all of them are...but I can't save them all....without being obvious...and then having someone suggest I work there since I'm so knowledgeable about art and everyone agreeing excitedly like it's an amazing idea, super fun, a match made in heaven. GAHHHH!!!
It's also insulting because it's like...people don't pretend to be nurses (unless it's something kinky or Halloween) or lumberjacks or start a business allowing people to pretend to be plumbers or electricians or SINGERS!! You can't pretend to be a singer!! You either can sing or you can't. Even if you are a poor singer...you still possess the ability to sing. You can't just open a business and allow people to pretend to be artists. It's like opening a recording studio for tone-deaf people. It just makes no sense. I mean...I guess...maybe someone would benefit from the tone-deaf recording studio...and get some joy out of it. But...do you see what I mean? Do you see what that would mean for an opera singer? Am I a complete ASS saying all of this? Yes. Probably. Do I sound like a snob? Sure. I probably am.
It's just...this is what I do. This is how I hope to contribute in supporting my family (and already do a little bit). Don't ask me to make you freebie baby shower keepsakes by Friday and then invite me to sell my soul at the painting party. Just...don't. Or do and be understanding when I decline gracefully.
Okay. End. Rant.
It may not be news but I'm an artist. It's what I do. It's what I'm going to school for...to be a better artist and get an education. I don't take what I do lightly and find it annoying that so many people do. It's a hobby, it's a starving profession, it's a foolish choice, it's a joke...it's never just accepted and respected. You can say you're a stripper and it's all fine but say you're an artist and Oooommmggg...the end is coming. You just can't answer, "So what do you do?" with "Oh, I'm an artist." without the person waiting for the rest of the answer...or the real answer...it's like...you have to explain your way out of it like it's admitting to something embarrassing. Or the immediate response is, "Ohhhh starving artist!!" And you want to whip around and slap them across the forehead with your last drawing sale price.
That being said, it also drives me nuts when people who aren't artists try to pretend to be artists. Now...I'm not one of those people that goes around deeming who is and isn't an artist according to some pecking order of education or status. I'd say you're an artist if you feel a deep need to create that you can't entirely explain and it's something you're dedicated to whether you understand it or not. It's a risk...like a relationship. I don't mean all that in a touchy-feely hippy sort of way. I mean it realistically. It takes dedication, like anything passionate.
The people who are trying to pretend to be artists don't have that drive or passion. They will readily admit that with phrases like, "I can only draw stick figures" or, my favorite, "I can't draw a stick figure." Then there are these places. These freaking horrible places that are all the rage right now. These horrid places basically let you bring wine and paint a painting...while they guide you through each step of the painting, like a paint-by-numbers, and you walk away with "your very own masterpiece." *vomit*
Now...I get it. I get that it's "fun" to "pretend" to be "able" to paint and create a picture you normally wouldn't be able to make. I get that.
...
Only I don't (I mean...I really do but I don't want to). Only it kind of KILLS my SOUL a little bit each time I see it, hear about it, or think about it. Only I find it insulting any time I get invited to such a place and have only made the exception for one very special person. And the painting I made is an embarrassment that I can neither paint over (craaaappppyyyy quaaallliiitttyyyy caaannnvaaassssss aannnyyyooonnneee???) nor give away (how mean is that? "You invited me to this party so you could paint your own piece...want mine? So you can feel bad about your own? Which defeats the whole purpose?") so the only remaining option is to trash it. Which I will....hopefully soon so I never have to run across it again and doubt my entire calling as an artist. But due to the very special person that surrounded my whole going to the party and all...I find myself hesitating. More on that later. Or not.
I hate stuff like that. I HATE IT. I hate it because everyone is like, "Oh Rachel, you're probably awesome at this!" And what I want to say is, "If you mean paint really crappy while drunk, then yes!" but instead I just plaster on a smile, adjust the table-top easel so the top isn't digging a hole through the canvas (and my soul) because it was set up wrong...in fact...all of them are...but I can't save them all....without being obvious...and then having someone suggest I work there since I'm so knowledgeable about art and everyone agreeing excitedly like it's an amazing idea, super fun, a match made in heaven. GAHHHH!!!
It's also insulting because it's like...people don't pretend to be nurses (unless it's something kinky or Halloween) or lumberjacks or start a business allowing people to pretend to be plumbers or electricians or SINGERS!! You can't pretend to be a singer!! You either can sing or you can't. Even if you are a poor singer...you still possess the ability to sing. You can't just open a business and allow people to pretend to be artists. It's like opening a recording studio for tone-deaf people. It just makes no sense. I mean...I guess...maybe someone would benefit from the tone-deaf recording studio...and get some joy out of it. But...do you see what I mean? Do you see what that would mean for an opera singer? Am I a complete ASS saying all of this? Yes. Probably. Do I sound like a snob? Sure. I probably am.
It's just...this is what I do. This is how I hope to contribute in supporting my family (and already do a little bit). Don't ask me to make you freebie baby shower keepsakes by Friday and then invite me to sell my soul at the painting party. Just...don't. Or do and be understanding when I decline gracefully.
Okay. End. Rant.
Comments
I think it's just that the arts are not only a profession, but also a means of self expression. Do we blame Picasso for going through his blue period? No, he was expressing himself. But it's only ok for him to do so since he was a "real artist"? or because he was famous?
Ok, I can say this only because I am just as guilty as you. Just the other day I was walking down our street telling Matt about how I'm open to people using the term artist. I understand a lot of people have problems or fears with the word. I'm open to interpretation of what is considered art, BUT, but, but, our neighbor that has a mailbox painted in the "One Step Painting" technique http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPoJBiTpqkY, I HATE THAT THING. I hate that she probably took a class, bought tons of those stupid ass art supplies, painted that thing and thought "Wow, I made that, I'm an Artist!" I wish a teenager would drive by with a baseball bat and take that thing down.
Apparently I think everyone should express their creativity, but only when it is pleasing to my eye, and up to my standards. No short cuts.
At any rate, your post got me thinking, so thank you for sharing your rant :)
I'm glad my post made you think. I didn't want anyone to be offended...and I probably did or will offend someone who really likes those painting studios. I just had a weak moment of loathing. ;)