Face Palm
I was thinking about it last night...and going through a deployment is what I imagine going through physical therapy is like. Now...I've never been through physical therapy. So I don't know this for a fact. But I am guessing someone going through physical therapy and myself could sit down to a good cup of coffee and have some good laughs about some of the ridiculous things people have said to us.
For example, yesterday a very well-meaning woman in my class that is really sweet said to me, "You're a strong woman. If I were married and my husband deployed, I would cry every day." Now...I understand what she meant. I appreciated the "strong woman" line. But I know that people just don't sit down and think about how their words are going to touch the person they are saying them to. Sometimes it feels like someone grinding some sand into your open wound and all you want to do is smack them over the side of the head and say, "STOP THAT. USE YOUR NOGGIN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD." People feel a need to share these things with us military spouses with our better halves currently deployed. It's like...the fact he's gone and I'm alone and doing my best to keep positive every day despite not wanting to even go to sleep because it means waking up alone isn't enough...because you've gotta point it all out to me. And remind me how horrible I have it. Thanks. Real nice. Charming. Isn't life grand.
In all honesty, I've been doing really well. I feel more grounded and strong than previous deployments made me feel in the beginning. So when I get these little "nuggets" from strangers (or friends and family!!!!), I feel like I have to take myself to my happy place just to avoid the negativity.
Now...I imagine someone in physical therapy could relate. Because people have diarrhea of the mouth and they say things that just don't need to be said. It's like going up to someone going through physical therapy and instead of commenting on the positive, like how much they've improved, how strong they are, how they're getting better every day...you decide to say something like, "Man, that's really got to hurt a lot." "I thought you'd be walking by now!" "If I broke my leg, I don't know what I'd do." "Well when you broke it, you must have known you'd have to go through physical therapy. So why are you having such a hard time?" "Does that hurt?" NO, IT FEELS LIKE A BASKET OF MARSHMALLOWS. OF COURSE IT HURTS!!
My favorite is being told by a single, childless teenager that I have to manage my time better after I expressed a desire to be more involved in music but just don't have the time. I calmly turned to her, smiled and said, "I'm married, my husband is deployed, I have a 11 month old daughter, I'm in school, I have a house to take care of and generally mothering to do, I'm going to art school this summer, I have an art career." Pause for effect. Needless to say I got my point across. But I know some people would have argued with me that I just wasn't managing my time enough. I mean...look at me! My daughter has been crabby all morning and is FINALLY down for a nap...and instead of doing laundry until midnight tonight and scrubbing my house clean for it to get dirty in 5 minutes...I'm blogging! BLOGGING. And you know what? I'm going to leave it with that. I'm okay with that. Because being creative (and this is a creative outlet) keeps me sane WITH my husband home. WITHOUT him home...well, I need all the sanity I can get. Girl, please.
Photo: Unknown found via Speechmarks
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