Crunchy
It wasn't until I heard it dropped a few times in conversation that I got it. I looked it up on the internets (since the internets never lies...kidding) and after browsing a few definitions, stopped on a "How to Know If You're a Granola Mom" site. Answering "kinda" to more than 5 out of 10 of the criteria, I would say that I am a quasi-granola mom. Which in the STRICTEST of terms (which I obviously don't follow) doesn't vaccinate their kids, cosleeps, does homebirths, exclusively breastfeeds, clothdiapers, etc. etc. There's more but I won't bore you.
When it comes to motherhood, I think we all kind of have it out for each other sometimes...even if it's subconscious. Oh...she brings her kids to the nursery even if they're sick. Her son always acts up in day care. She can't leave her kid for one second! That lady didn't even try breastfeeding. (Or the other side of the fence.) That lady is obsessed with breastfeeding.
I recently joined MOPS (Mother's Of Preschoolers) and was shocked my first day to find myself in one of these discussions...not that the discussion in and of itself is shocking...but it was being unknowingly aimed at me. The discussion centered around whether we moms do compete and compare and wage a strange mothering war against each other. As each person shared, the answers got blander and blander until one woman spoke up. After going off on a tirade about how she couldn't understand those granola moms and how clothdiapering was ridiculous and disgusting and breastfeeding wasn't that big of a deal, she concluded that everyone was being raised and released into society and so everyone is doing their best so the kids are all going to "just" turn out fine. (Don't even get me started.)
While I clearly didn't agree with her conclusion at all, I was too busy keeping my mouth shut from completely humiliating the woman on the spot. Two of my friends were sitting next to me with looks of absolute shock and disbelief and worry that I might say something or better yet...wondering how that out come would look. They knew I cloth diapered. And while I'm definitely not a full-fledged granola mom, I've got some stab to the title whether I like it or not. I was good. I kept quiet and smiled politely. I came away a little confused, hurt, and angry but I decided that trying to argue it out was only reinforcing the topic of the discussion. In a negative light. Afterward, my friends applauded me on not making a scene and my friend Lauren affectionately jabbed me saying, "My crunchy granola momma!"
So, before I get sidetracked, here are a few of my very own granola momisms:
1. I cloth diaper. Not exclusively. I believe in mental health above all things and if a plane ride requires a few disposables, then sue me.
1.a. Everyone thinks cloth diapering is SO disgusting when they've never tried it. I had my worries before and as I began. I've come out a survivor and can honestly say I enjoy it for a few reasons: I'm doing something that I feel strongly about. (If you don't feel strongly about something, why are you doing it?) In my experience, cloth diapers leak MUCH (SO DRAMATICALLY!!) less than regular diapers. It is said children who cloth diaper potty train much faster. Environmentally, it's good (omg, here's my crunchy side getting all warmed up!); however, there is always the water usage concern. In the long run, it does save you $$$. For real. And I'm sorry...but potty training is going to be much grosser than cloth diapering has ever been. OH YEAH! And the detergent I use smells YUMMY.
2. I was pretty dead set on natural birth and if I had had the option, I would have done a water birth, no if, ands, or buts. I lay NO judgement on people who choose to do otherwise. Am I proud of my natural birth? Yes! I do think it's something every mother should at least TRY in the beginning of labor. And if it's not for them, it's not for them. Note: I don't believe in homebirth. FOR ME. I am in awe of women who do it and have done it. I like the idea. I like it in concept. But in theory, if my mom had tried to have either me or my brother at home, we would have died due to complications. I know there are midwives that can determine the risks...I just...I don't think it's for me.
3. I absolutely vaccinate my kids. However, I'm not crazy about how many vaccines they give them at once. REALLY?? You're going to give my 15 pound baby 4 shots at once and then you say something like, "Let us know if she has any reactions!" Shouldn't you be saying, "Let us know if she DOESN'T have any reactions...because that would be a miracle!" Sheesh.
4. I make my own baby food. Roll your eyes all you want but there are a lot of unexplained medical issues in the world today. If I can give my babe natural food to cross that off the list of causes, I'm going to do it as much as I can.
5. I breastfeed exclusively. By "exclusively," I don't mean my child pacifies on my boob and has never had a bottle in their mouth. It means I don't use formula and I have fed my child breast milk from day one. I am a strong believer in breast feeding and think it is another thing every mom should TRY to do. But I will say that it hurts like hell in the beginning...at least it did for me.
6. I don't believe in giving my baby lots of sugar. In fact, P has never had any sugar and I don't plan on giving her any anytime soon. I'm still debating what to do concerning her first birthday. See #4.
7. P co-slept with us up until 4 months-ish. I loved it. John loved it. It was great having her close. It was not great being woken up by her...but she would have via baby monitor anyway. It was AWESOME being able to nurse her laying down. We both kind of decided nonverbally that we'd put her in her own room when we felt ready and it was around 4 months that we eased her in. She's now 9 months and sleeps in there exclusively. I don't really like the idea of cosleeping with older kids.
8. I like natural baby bath products. Could this list get any longer? YES.
9. I was raised without TV. In fact, I don't think we even had a TV as a kid. I was lucky enough to marry someone who was raised the same way and therefore we do not have television (yes, we have a TV we watch movies or netflix on). For that reason, I'm not big on electronic toys. P has a few things that, given batteries, would spring to life and "music" and...yeah...no. Not happening. I return to #1. I believe in mental health. And secondly, I was raised happy as a clam playing with pots and pans and wooden spoons. I don't think she needs a bunch of electronic gadgets. So far she's turning out just fine.
10. BONUS! I never believed in Santa Claus and neither will P. NO! I am not destroying her childhood! I had an AWESOME upbringing and never once felt left out of ANYTHING due to no Santa. I still got presents. ;) So...yeah. This may not be a granola mom thing but I just had to throw it out there.
I must note that this is MY funny little list of things that work for me. I in no way want anyone to feel like I'm going to judge them if they don't cloth diaper (let's face it...I'm the minority) or any of that. The important thing is to raise your baby to the best of your ability and also according to what you feel as their mom is right. If that means spending hours hand washing their clothes, you just knock yourself out. If that means letting them taste their mud pie after proudly making it, okay! God gave us moms a guiding voice and we have to follow that. So...here's to being crunchy...in our own way.
Photo: Unknown found via Katherine Martinelli
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