Pregs

Surprise!! And you just thought I was being quiet. I have literally had to avoid this blog to keep from spilling the beans. But we decided now is the time. So...let's back track a little bit because you better believe I've been documenting things even if I couldn't post them just yet:

9/5
And here you are.
I'm speechless. Almost. So I will write.
August 29th was the day I'd take the test. And it would be negative. And I would be sad. It was days after Hurricane Irene and our power was still out. John went on base to get a few things done before driving back up to Virginia. He came back with a card and an ornament to cheer me up. And the Husband-of-the-Year goes to...yeah. He's amazing and thoughtful. The next weekend we headed to my first Virginia Tech football game. I took another test the morning of the game. Negative. I was disappointed but tried not to be devastated. I waited for my period to start that whole day. And...nothing. Odd. The next day I continued to wait...andddd...nothing again. This was particularly strange since I had figured out my schedule and I knew it was precise; it doesn't change much. So this morning, September 5th, I decided to take another test. As I've done so many times before, I turned my back on the pregnancy test while I waited, as if not watching it change color might effect the end results...and just like so many times before, I peeked before the 3 minutes were up. But this time there was something different.

Hmm...it's never done that before! It was faint but it was definitely there. And I've never had any sort of hint of a second line before. So I took another test. Finally, I got a digital test and this is what it said.

I called John and he giggled over the phone. Looks like we are going to be parents...soon.
So here I am.
Part of me is terrified. But most of me is ecstatic. I am suddenly STARVING and feel EXHAUSTED. I use the caps because they are EXTREME feelings. Part of me feels like I'm just imagining it. But...I don't think that's my imagination.
It's strange. Just when we thought God was saying "No" and didn't want to challenge that by continuing to try, we find out we were already pregnant. It always amazes me how God can surprise me even when I think I've ruined my own party by getting ahead of myself.
After taking test number 2, I read the bible and prayed (literally fell on my face in front of the Lord) in tears. Then I took a shower, listened to Pandora, and cried some more. All happy tears of course.
I still have fears. Fears of everything changing, of struggling in school, of going through deployments again...but I know God has a much bigger plan than I do. And through all of this (all 8 hours of knowing I'm pregnant), my knee-jerk reaction shows me how much I want this. So for now...I'll relax and get a snack. Or five.
P.S. One more thing...a few days ago John said, "It would be nice if we found out you were pregnant...nice something positive happened right now when so many bad things are going on." And now that it has happened...all the "bad" seems so unimportant and unpressing.
P.P.S. First grocery store run since finding I'm preggo:
Fruits
Veggies
Milk
Bread
Creamer
NUTELLA---definitely when my pregnant STARVING mode started.
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So what now? Well I had my first real doctor's appointment yesterday. I had a blood test (which considering my history went AMAZINGLY well...the nurse who did it was EXCELLENT) and then they asked me 20 (000) questions and then I had 2 seconds to ask all my questions. Everyone was very nice, I got a bag of pregnancy literature and that was that. Nothing too exciting but enough to confirm that yes, this is really happening. My due date is May 14th. Did I just say that? John and I are both tickled pink.
Much more to come...:)