Penelope Astrid Paige
At 2:15am on Monday, May 7th, my water broke. It was no joke FOR SURE this time. I decided to try to go back to sleep after it happened but only laid in bed for about 15 minutes before waking John because contractions began. We quickly got to work getting everything gathered that we'd need at the hospital and taking care of last minute things like feeding the cats. Finally, around 4am we hit the road with contractions about 4-5 minutes apart and growing stronger. John sped to the hospital with the car's flashers on and it all felt very surreal. I waddled into the emergency room and got checked in while John parked. My friend Katrina had texted me that her mom Jude was working in the ER and she ended up being the nurse to wheel me up to the Labor and Delivery floor. I cannot describe how calming it was to see a familiar face. She was beyond exited and had predicted that I would go into labor that morning but that's another story for another time.
Labor and Delivery was BUSY. We were checked into a temporary room and I was declared 4cm dilated. My nurse also said baby's head was VERY low which meant hopefully I would not be pushing very long. Praise the Lord. :) It felt like 5 minutes but John assures me we were in that room for 3 hours. Contractions were well on their way by the time we were wheeled to our permanent delivery room and the tactical breathing exercises John taught me were one of my main survival guides. From my water breaking until delivery, I was in labor 13 hours and was able to do it naturally with a little help from some pain medication. Was it hard? Um...YES. Probably the most difficult physical thing I've ever done. Maybe the most difficult physical thing I'll ever do. But also the most rewarding by far.
I was surprised to find that the pushing portion of delivery was the easiest part...but I think I was definitely lucky in that my pushing time was very short. When it came time to push, it was a relief to do so and John was at my side the entire time, cheering me on and telling me how I was progressing. When it was time, my doctor (who also happened to be the husband of one of my classmates) allowed John to catch our baby, our daughter Penelope. Before I even knew it was over, I heard her crying and John laughing as he welcomed her to the world and to our family. He got to cut the cord and as they began cleaning her off, I asked to have her on my chest. I thought I would cry as I am now writing this (HELLO hormones!) but I couldn't do anything but marvel at her, marvel at every tiny detail, at her voice, at her tininess. She weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces and 20 inches long. I don't know how long I laid there with her but it could have been hours. After awhile, I gave the nurses permission to take her to get her first bath under the close watch of her daddy. About two hours later, we were moved to our recovery room which turned out to be one of the largest on the floor.
All of the things I was afraid about when thinking about delivery ended up not mattering. It's amazing how the bigger picture and pain can be wonderful distractions. As I fell asleep that night, I thanked God in a simple, exhausted, groggy prayer of a new mother. I'm not even sure if I finished my prayer but I know He heard it and I know He was smiling.
My Penelope Astrid Paige is a jewel. I am in awe of her, even in my most exhausted and frustrated moments. Her perfect skin, her beautiful eyes, her long feet, everything. John is proving to be a wonderful father and I love him more every moment because of it.
As I mend, I am overwhelmed. There are fears for the future and present and just the overall feeling of inadequacy. But God reminds me that I was chosen for this role for this baby girl. And He will perform a great work through me which includes learning to raise this child. So...forgive me if I am MIA for a little while. I'll try to stop in when I can. In the meantime...look at that face. :)
Photo: Meself
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