Gob

I won't even go there and say, "I can't believe it's already narrowing in on the end of November!" because by the time I do that, it'll be mid-December already. I'll just say this: time is flying...and it's not always a good thing. But I guess it's not terrible either. Despite some intense changes in the past few weeks (losses, heartache, laughs, quiet moments, memories, classes classes classes), I'm still alive. And my patience is paying off...my tummy is starting to feel a little rounder. After a full meal, I can pass off for a pregnant woman. But most of the time, only I can tell. Which I am in no way complaining about. As much as I want to "start showing," everyone tells me once you start, you can't stop. And I completely get that. Even now I'm shifting in my jeans, thinking "Are these tighter? No, they're the same...but...are they?" But that's life right now. And as strange as it is to have your body changing before your very eyes (and nerves and muscles...oy, I do feel those changes!), it's very exciting too. I heard Baby's heart beat for the second time yesterday. And hopefully in a few weeks we will find out if we're having a boy or a girl. My head is still having trouble wrapping around ALL of this...because up until about two weeks ago, very little evidence showed that I was pregnant at all. But reality is setting in...and I'm liking it. So is John. I find us talking to my belly more, and imagining how that last meal must have thoroughly satisfied this baby into a food coma or this next meal better because this baby is HUNGRY. It's fun.
It's almost Thanksgiving. John's mom and stepdad are coming down for the next few days and unless a few friends I invited take the invitation, it might just be the four (and a half) of us for Thanksgiving. But we always keep ourselves entertained so I know it'll be great no matter how many people are present. I'm just excited to have an actual Thanksgiving with John let alone in OUR house. It's nice to start some traditions of our owns and have a chance to even think about traditions when this is our first for everything.
Today was my last class of the week and honestly it couldn't end soon enough. I started the morning with the lovely news that I had been purged from ALL of my classes next semester (SURPRISE!!!) and had to clean that mess up throughout the morning. I was able to get back into three of the four and am waitlisted for the last one. Soooo...we shall see if I get them all back or not. But let's just say I'm ready for a wee break. I've been home longer than John and have yet to find the energy to clean for company...meanwhile he is fervently vacuuming and cleaning the study (which I think has never been cleaned of vacuumed since we moved in this house) so...yeah...I need to get with it. THANKFUL FOR A PATIENT HUSBAND.
Anyway...Happy Thanksgiving from ours to yours. As much as I miss my family during this time of year, I am so thankful to be spending this holiday with John's family who has become my own.
P.S. While cleaning, we keep finding little sentimental reminders of Grandma. Sweet bittersweetness.

Photo: Michael DiGiorgio found via Natureartists