Considering Mary

The post-turkey ick. I think this is my first experience with getting sick after thanksgiving. And it's not real fun. As a result, instead of gaining a few over this glutenous holiday, I have lost weight. Thankfully, I'm slowly feeling better...but I am still restricted to the BRAT diet. And I always forget which each letter stands for. Bread, raisins, apple sauce, toast? But isn't toast bread? Bran, rhubarb, apple sauce (because that's the one I'm sure about), and tortellini? I'll never know. But I'm pretty sure the first one is close. I'm so BORED of toast (which I ran out of yesterday), apple sauce, and whatever...but any time I stray from that diet, I find myself instantly regretting it and feeling horrible. So...bring on the toast, I guess.

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent. Advent is a tradition that my family kept for many, many years growing up. Somewhere along the way, we fell out of it. And I've always missed it since. So for our first Christmas together, John and I decided to recognize Advent. Or more I just decided we would and he thought it was a good idea too. Finding the right readings was a little bit of a chore because apparently a lot of people out there have gone out and made their OWN "version" of Advent. So...forget the age old traditions and meanings deeper than your family roots could ever dream...let's just come up with something quick, catchy, and meaningless. Yay!! Needless to say, I was not thrilled and quite annoyed as I searched and search for the ORIGINAL Advent celebration I grew up with. And with a few friends' help and my mom, I found it. And it was wonderful to share with John. I want to refocus this year. I want to REALLY see and feel the meaning behind this holiday, the birth of a Savior, a child, which feels so much more close to home than it ever has before. I find myself pondering Mary, curious how she felt; was there fear amid her trust and faith?
I hear about mobs trampling people over Black Friday sales and just feel so disconnected from this entire society. I've bought maybe two Christmas presents so far and don't plan to buy too many more; Christmas must be simple this year. But why isn't it always simple? Why does it become this big SHOW, this competition for the biggest, bestest (yes, I said it) present and decorations and crap? Because that's what it all is. Yes, it's wonderful to be with family and I'm so excited to be able to bring John back to WA to see mine. But that isn't what this "season" is about. And I think at times the church even forgets that, falling into the pitfalls of this society and culture.
This year I choose to refocus and pray that my vision will continue to be enhanced throughout the years to come as I pursue this Savior. I've failed so many times before and I know I will again...but I pray this pursuit will change this damaged heart.

Photo: Unknown found via The Confessional Outhouse