Stench

Such positive titles.
So...let me back up a bit.
John got out of the Marines. He came back from his 4th and final deployment last January. Honestly, it broke me. Especially the tail end. He got delayed, I ruptured my ear drum and could hardly function with two small children...it was hairy. But he made it back and despite weather predictions, it was a gloriously beautiful day and a beautiful memory.
It has taken me a full year to recover from that last deployment. There are chunks of it I don't even remember. I'm sure I'll write more on that later...
June 1st, John was released from the
Marine Corps after 11 years of service. It wasn't our decision and OH YA BETTER BELIEVE it was our choice. When you get passed over for promotion once, you have a very slim chance of getting it the second time around (<5%). So we saw the writing on the wall for awhile but as in true Marine Corps fashion, we/he had to play the part of wanting to stay in and wanting to further his career...even though we were all done. DONE. I had moments where I wanted him to be honest and shout, "Hallelujah!!" from the roof tops (like me) instead of disappointingly giving me the news over the phone but then texting me afterward that he was excited and thankful but within ear-shot of others so he couldn't express his true feelings. But he knows the Corps better than I. And he knows what happens to people who are honest, truly truly honest. Tell someone you're ready to get out and done with your career and see how fast your name is snatched up greedily for whatever ass-wiping billet they've been trying to fill but no one wants. From someone who was thrown an IA he didn't want or ask for, a FAC tour he didn't want or ask for, and then is told his career is not concentrated enough on his assigned aircraft...because he spent too much time doing assignments he was voluntold to do...you do the brain math and get back to me on how forthright you think you should be/want to be with these clowns...
But I digress. June 1st was the date he got out officially. It's late December and he has been happily albiet nervously unemployed since. They say good things take time and that is what I've had to pray over and repeat until he received two awesome job offers and for the first time ever, we got to choose. Something. Anything. We never had a choice of where we lived or what happened in his career and every time we sought to get away from back-to-back deployments by moving, they told us they had nothing and we had to stay put. So...a choice was exhilarating and extremely scary! After much thought and prayer, the unexpected land of Texas won and here we are, almost to the new year, scrambling to settle in this new domain.
I began this post much more crabby about our house and situation but in the process of writing this was reminded of my long-suffering crabbiness with the Marine Corps so suddenly, a broken dish washer, unidentifiable smells, dirty kitchen (not our mess) and now leaking sink (so you can't handwash dishes OR dishwash them...so should we bathtub wash them??), this place seems pretty grand.
I jest.
To be clear, I have nothing but respect for Marines. They truly are the few and the proud. But this also means they can take some tough love. And there is some real stupidity that happens in this branch (all branches, I'm sure). We've had more than a full dose of it and we've seen enough people suffer from it. But Marines are where I found my patriotism and what puts pride in this multicultural heart of mine when I hear that anthem and stand in humility knowing so many sacrificed a part of themselves for this country. Their time, their body, maybe their life. I can do nothing else but honor that with undying respect.
Whether I enjoyed all of it or not, the past 8 years made me a lot more badass and strong than I ever was before or could have hoped to be. If nothing else, this thing's suckiness made me fight back and not settle for adequate. Which is why we have now parted ways.
I know that John's entire career was hand-crafted by God himself and where we are heading now is our next chapter.
So here we are in Texas. Other than my wonderful childhood friend who is more like a sister or cousin to me than a friend and my actual cousin who is also my friend, I know NOBODY. So...here's to this new beginning...and processing this brokenness to find some sense of myself again.
So why the title? Well...our sink still stinks.