Fresh Start

Dear 2016,
A lot of people are calling you the worst year ever because so much suckiness has happened. I think that's kind of extreme. After all, horrendous things have happened before and even those years weren't penalized so brutally. But you have certainly contained stages I have not gotten along with.
At the end of your last day, I'm grateful. For a fresh, new, horizon to begin again in a new place with many possibilities. It's overwhelming and the success is out there. It all depends on me making the effort.
I wrote down today some goals and aspirations and hopes for 2017. I watched the new Star Wars movie with my husband and drank an alcoholic shake in a movie theater that serves food, alcohol, and has reclining seats. It's not even 10pm and Mr. I Want To Stay Up For Our First Post Deployment New Year's Kiss is almost snoring beside me in his clothes. This is what early 30's looks like, people! But in all seriousness, it's been a good day, a blessing; a visit with friends that reminds me of the family I have that I love, none of which are blood related but all have the common multicultural bond. And John fits right into that family.
Last NYE, I was depressed, missing my husband, and disappointed in no one following through with New Year's Eve plans with me. It ended well when my sweet friend Rachel told me to get my butt over and I rang in the New Year at her party and enjoyed her friendship, friends and family. This year, there is a loneliness, missing that friendship and not having friends to really call on here yet (other than wonderful Kate). But I know they will come with time. And the person I missed the most last year is beside me again.
My hope for what comes next is purpose. I want you, 2016, to turn over the flame to 2017 and let it be a year of purpose. Even if we don't fully understand what the final product may be, let there be purpose and intention, always good intention. I'm exhausted from months of living purposeless, wondering where the heck we might end up and what the heck John would do. And I remember a curiosity over Texas crossing my mind briefly. And now here were are. The purposelessness, thank goodness, is gone. But the new found energy has not quite settled where it should be. Like those tea leaves. Give us a target. And bless it, Lord. Let your will for our new life unfold. Only yours. No one else.
-Me