Party Like A Rockstar
Two days ago it was my baby's first birthday. (I would have blogged sooner but rushing around, finishing finals, spending time with my girl, and blogger refusing to load made it impossible). I still can't believe it. Even while driving home after taking my last final and buying her a birthday balloon (I wanted to get her a huge bouquet of balloons but the place was SWAMPED from Mother's Day orders and said they wouldn't be able to do anything that day...so I just got a single balloon which she is still enjoying), I thought...wait...I have a child? And she's one?? It's crazy being a Mommy.
Look at how she's grown.
I spent the day feeling overwhelmed, under-prepared and worried that she wasn't having as good of a birthday as she should. I had doubts about my choice to not do a second birthday party...but then reminded myself the first was best because her Daddy was here. I also reminded myself...she's ONE. Not ten. She won't remember this...and I did make every effort to make the day as special as I was able. It was a simple day but a good day.
She wore a pretty dress.
She opened presents, tasted treats, had her first birthday candle (I blew it out for her) on an angel food cupcake, wore a birthday hat for about 4 seconds, and slept. A LOT.
She got a handmade dress and bonnet from Nainai (my mom), bath toys, clothes, and goodies from Mom-mom (John's mom), plastic farm animals from my parents, and a book on going to sleep (hint hint, Penelope...hint hint!) with textures to touch and a little Asian dolly that is en route to us. I desire for her to understand that people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors from a very small age so we started with some different race dolls. However, her "black" doll looks much more latino than African American. So we will find a dark skinned doll next.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before in this blog but I was completely unconscious of my own "color" until I moved to America. In China, it was rarely talked about. The most I ever heard about it was, "Your skin is so pale and beautiful!" because Chinese admire pale skin and do all they can to keep pale. While everything here has bronzers and tanners and is all about being dark, over there it's the opposite. Everything is "whitening." Other than that comment, my skin color never came up until I started college at 18. That was a rude awakening to be exposed to racism and the battle of race and sex and I still find myself injured from that experience. I came away feeling wrongfully accused of a mindset (before anyone even got to know me) that I grew up believing was outdated and extinct. Just because I was "white." It was very disheartening to see that racism is alive and well here and in many other places in the world. It breaks my heart. So long story short...since I don't have a way to raise P the way I was raised, entirely cut off from this battle and these attitudes and able to just take people in as people...I can influence her in the ways that I can and teach her that all are created EQUAL. Different colored dolls may seem kind of silly...but having grown up tossing the blonde, white barbies aside for the Native American, Indian, and Asian dolls, it warms my heart a little bit with the hope she can be as colorblind as me.
But her birthday wasn't over with the Asian dolly. Yesterday, after her 12 month doctor appointment, one finger prick and 3 shots later...we needed some cheering up. I got her a little second-hand scoot along toy she can ride...and a new-to-us highchair because she ripped her tray off her first one the other night like a she-hulk and I decided a stronger one was in order.
So my baby is one.
She changes and grows every day and every day she is a little bit more "little girl" than "baby girl." She has an amazing sense of humor, an infectious smile that I have never seen a stranger (or friend) frown at, and, although I know I'm biased, she is a smart little girl. What will this new year hold for us, little one? Just wait and see, Mom!
Here she is right after her doctor's appointment. I call this...napping like a boss...air guitar style.
Party like a rockstar, babe. (Not really. You know what I mean.)
Look at how she's grown.
She wore a pretty dress.
She opened presents, tasted treats, had her first birthday candle (I blew it out for her) on an angel food cupcake, wore a birthday hat for about 4 seconds, and slept. A LOT.
She got a handmade dress and bonnet from Nainai (my mom), bath toys, clothes, and goodies from Mom-mom (John's mom), plastic farm animals from my parents, and a book on going to sleep (hint hint, Penelope...hint hint!) with textures to touch and a little Asian dolly that is en route to us. I desire for her to understand that people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors from a very small age so we started with some different race dolls. However, her "black" doll looks much more latino than African American. So we will find a dark skinned doll next.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before in this blog but I was completely unconscious of my own "color" until I moved to America. In China, it was rarely talked about. The most I ever heard about it was, "Your skin is so pale and beautiful!" because Chinese admire pale skin and do all they can to keep pale. While everything here has bronzers and tanners and is all about being dark, over there it's the opposite. Everything is "whitening." Other than that comment, my skin color never came up until I started college at 18. That was a rude awakening to be exposed to racism and the battle of race and sex and I still find myself injured from that experience. I came away feeling wrongfully accused of a mindset (before anyone even got to know me) that I grew up believing was outdated and extinct. Just because I was "white." It was very disheartening to see that racism is alive and well here and in many other places in the world. It breaks my heart. So long story short...since I don't have a way to raise P the way I was raised, entirely cut off from this battle and these attitudes and able to just take people in as people...I can influence her in the ways that I can and teach her that all are created EQUAL. Different colored dolls may seem kind of silly...but having grown up tossing the blonde, white barbies aside for the Native American, Indian, and Asian dolls, it warms my heart a little bit with the hope she can be as colorblind as me.
But her birthday wasn't over with the Asian dolly. Yesterday, after her 12 month doctor appointment, one finger prick and 3 shots later...we needed some cheering up. I got her a little second-hand scoot along toy she can ride...and a new-to-us highchair because she ripped her tray off her first one the other night like a she-hulk and I decided a stronger one was in order.
So my baby is one.
She changes and grows every day and every day she is a little bit more "little girl" than "baby girl." She has an amazing sense of humor, an infectious smile that I have never seen a stranger (or friend) frown at, and, although I know I'm biased, she is a smart little girl. What will this new year hold for us, little one? Just wait and see, Mom!
Here she is right after her doctor's appointment. I call this...napping like a boss...air guitar style.
Party like a rockstar, babe. (Not really. You know what I mean.)
Photos: Meself
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