Breeding Vulnerability

Been one of those days. One of those past few days/week. I broke down yesterday and broke down today. My kids made me cry and I yelled. I've been stepping back, observing and sometimes the straw that breaks the camel's back is just a straw. And at the time, you feel super foolish and crazy for falling apart over seemingly nothing. But all those stones pile up and up and up. And then it just doesn't take much. Give yourself a break. I know I am the worst at this but give yourself a break. Stop thinking you're the worst (insert applicable thing here) ever and realize you're only human.
Hard circumstances breed vulnerability. And there's nothing flawed in that.
So I'm writing a book. I have been writing on and off since...2010? It's one of those things I haven't been consistent with but I think of it often. And I decided, you know what? This is the year. This is the year I really dedicate to it. I've hit the ground running and I'm tackling this thing head-on. It scares me and excites me every day. When I say I'm writing a book, I'm not kidding around. At over 360 pages, it's possibly multiple novels. It is complicated, difficult, and so very me. I wish I could print it all out to just see it tangibly and cut and paste that way, to better piece the story together. But I don't want to waste all that paper just yet. Maybe "waste" isn't the best choice of words but hopefully you know what I mean.