In A Name

The big question I've been bombarded with lately is the name of our baby. John has it down to a science. When people ask him if we have a name picked out, he simply answers "NO." I, on the other hand, am much too honest and admit we have a few names narrowed down but haven't decided yet which then prompts the asker to then ask what those few names are so they can "help" us choose. No offense to anyone who has asked this question...but...NO. I need to get into the habit of just saying "NO." You see, the beautiful thing about being given the quest of choosing a name for your child is no one else knows what it is. Period. It's a surprise, an unveiling when you introduce that beautiful, well-chosen name to the world. When it comes to sharing prospective names, I always think it's pretty risky. Although there are many, here is the largest reason why:
My mom had my brother quite early. He was 4 pounds and stayed in the hospital awhile to make sure his lungs and everything were fully developed and ready for the outside world. My parents hadn't found out what gender they were having so they have two names picked out, one girl, one boy. While my mother was still in the hospital, she was visited by a woman and her daughter. I want to say they were from my parents' church. After cooing over my brother, they asked my mom what they would have named him if he had been a girl (my brother's name is Caleb). My mom told them. They then proceeded to make a huge scene about what a big relief it was that he HAD been born a boy since the girl's name my parents had chosen was gross, horrible, and ugly.
Let me let that sink in.
*pause*
Okay. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? As much as you'd like to think people have enough sense to keep their mouths shut especially when talking to a brand new mother about HER child's prospective name, they obviously don't. People say stupid things. And I've come to the conclusion that unless someone is going to name their child something I know they will regret in the future (such as the name of a fatal disease, the name of a porn star, etc.), I have NO right to push my opinion on them to taint whatever name they adore. NO ONE is going to love every name. That's why we are individuals with individual tastes and likes and dislikes. What's important to me may not be important to other people. For example, meaning is a BIG deal to me when it comes to naming my baby. The meaning should at least have some depth to it, even if it's just meaningful to me, personally, and no one else. My mother has always joked about how ridiculous her first and middle name are united in one name. Together, they mean Pure Bitterness. Yes, meaning is important. The second biggest factor is popularity. I do NOT want to name my child a popular name because I don't want them to end up in a class of 17 other Jennifer's and Jessica's. It doesn't have to be an ancient name that no one has ever heard of and I'm not a fan of made-up names with no meanings or meanings you make up. So as you can see, things that are important to me could have no bearing on someone else's baby naming task.
To this day, my mom still loves the name she chose for my brother if he had been a girl. And no...the name was not Rachel. Because of that experience of hurtfulness, my parents decided against naming me what they had intended for their girl. Rachel was the new name they chose and it stuck.
So before you ask what we're thinking of for our name and what my parents were going to name their baby girl, I'll just say both are private for the time being. And no, they are not one and the same.
To the Name Critical: please, please, please use grace and common sense and tread lightly when considering shooting down someone's favorite name.

Photo: Unknown found via Babies Names And Meanings